The Wedding Day

Imagine walking into a vibrant celebration that blends traditional Mien customs with a lively modern reception.

Attending a Mien Wedding

As you arrive at the restaurant, you’re immediately greeted by two to four young women from the wedding party. They will pin a small flower onto your chest. This flower, similar to a boutonnière, marks you as an honored guest and adds a touch of festivity to your outfit.

THE RECEIVING LINE

In the restaurant's foyer, you’ll notice the bride and groom dressed in Mien clothes, standing with family members. Every guest goes through this receiving line, which at a Mien wedding includes two meaningful ceremonies: the tea ceremony and the face-washing ceremony.

IN LIEU OF A WEDDING REGISTRY

Instead of a traditional wedding registry, we kindly ask that you consider giving a monetary gift. A decorated card box will be at the front of the table where you can deposit your envelope. Inside your invitation, you’ll find an envelope you may use for this purpose or during the tea ceremony. Your support and generosity are truly appreciated as the couple begins their new chapter together.

The Face Washing

TRADITIONALLY, FOR THE CINGH-JAA (GUESTS OF THE BRIDE’S PARENTS), ALL GUESTS ARE WELCOME TO TAKE PART AND RECEIVE A TOWEL AS A MEANINGFUL KEEPSAKE.

As you enter the line, you'll see an unusual yet thoughtful item: a hand towel draped over two large chopsticks held above a bowl. This is the "face-washing" ceremony, and it’s done to symbolically “freshen up” and cleanse away any bad energy or fatigue from your journey to the wedding.

In traditional Mien culture, before the festivities begin, the couple presents their guests with water and a towel to wash their hands and face, then extends the offer to guests as well. Today, it’s primarily symbolic. You are not expected to wash your face literally. Most guests accept the towel as a small souvenir of the wedding.

When you receive the towel, it is customary for you to give a small monetary gift. As you pick up the towel, you will place a cash bill or pre-prepared envelope into a designated bowl as a token of goodwill at this moment.

The Tea Ceremony

TRADITIONALLY, THE BRIDE AND GROOM, THEIR BRIDESMAIDS, AND GROOMSMEN WOULD WALK AROUND TO EVERY TABLE, SERVING EACH GUEST PERSONALLY

Right after the face-washing ceremony will be the tea ceremony. Here, the bride and groom will offer you a small cup of tea or a shot of liquor. You will also be offered two cigarettes or candies as a sign of hospitality. This tea ceremony is known in the Mien language as “Jiex In, Jiex Zaah.” 

If you choose the tea, you might find it comforting as tea symbolizes respect and purity in many Asian cultures. If you opt for a shot of liquor, it’s a more playful way to toast the occasion. Either choice is perfectly fine. Many older guests choose tea, while younger guests might take the celebratory shot. 

The couple and their attendants offer tea or liquor as a symbol of starting their new life together, and guests, in turn, offer their well wishes (and usually a gift*) to the couple. This drink signifies mutual respect and blessings between you and the hosts. In fact, serving tea to guests upon arrival is a long-held Mien tradition of hospitality and gratitude.

As with the face-washing ceremony,  it’s customary for you to give another small monetary gift. 

You will see a designated box or a family member collecting envelopes. Don’t worry about the exact amount; it’s the gesture that counts. (We’ll talk more about typical gift amounts in a bit.)

The Song Dedication

THIS IS THE FUN AND INTERACTIVE PART OF THE RECEPTION!

The couple has provided these slips so that each table of guests can request a song to be played by the live band during the reception. If your table has a favorite dance song or a genre of music you’d love to hear, you can write it down on the slip. 

What makes it special is that you can dedicate the song to someone, and it doesn’t have to be the bride and groom. It could be a dedication to “all cousins,” or to the friend who introduced the couple, or even to the bride’s parents or anyone you want to honor or cheer up. This dedication will be announced along with the song when it’s played. A small donation is encouraged with your request. 

Often, guests at the table pool a bit of cash (collectively $100 to 200 or more) to attach to the song request. If your table wants to participate, discuss a song everyone likes, fill out the slip, and someone will come around to collect it, or you might take it to a designated box.

Later in the night, listen for your song dedication broadcast for the whole party to enjoy!

Monetary Gifts

GUESTS USUALLY GIVE THEIR MONETARY GIFTS DURING THE TEA CEREMONY, FACE-WASHING, AND SONG DEDICATION

How much should you give? There’s no fixed amount; it truly is up to your comfort and level of closeness to the couple. In practice, each guest at Mien weddings gives anywhere from about $60 up to $500 in total throughout the night. As you can see, this isn’t a strict fee but rather a loving gesture, and your contribution will help bless the couple’s new marriage.

The key is to give from the heart; any amount is appreciated as a show of support and goodwill.

Mingle and Enjoy

ONE THING TO KNOW ABOUT A MIEN WEDDING RECEPTION: IT’S VERY OPEN AND GUEST-FRIENDLY.

You are not expected to stay glued to your seat all evening. Guests move around quite a bit, whether to visit relatives at other tables, step outside for a breather, or join a dance on the floor. You might see the bride and groom making their rounds, going from table to table to greet and take photos with guests. If they come by your table later, it’s a nice opportunity to congratulate them again and maybe snap a quick photo together.

The atmosphere is meant to be relaxed and celebratory. If there’s a lull before the music picks up, you can always converse with your tablemates, make new friends at neighboring tables, or take your picture at the photo backdrop area. Don't forget your phone!

Conclusion

A NIGHT OF CELEBRATION AND CULTURE

By now, you’ve eaten and drank well, participated in meaningful ceremonies, listened to touching speeches, and maybe danced and laughed a lot. As the night winds down, the band will play its final sets, and you’ll notice guests slowly starting to depart when they are ready. It’s polite to stay until after the major events (dinner, speeches, cake, first dances) are done unless you really must leave earlier.

When you’re ready to go, remember to say goodbye and thank your hosts if you see them (and if the couple is busy dancing or taking photos, it’s okay to slip out; someone will likely be at the door to see off guests, or you can send your regards later).

Most importantly, the couple and their families will remember your presence and participation as part of what made their day special. In Mien culture, family and community are everything, and by attending and engaging, you become part of their family for the night. So pat yourself on the back for being an awesome guest!

Congratulations!

NOT ONLY TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM BUT ALSO TO YOU FOR FULLY IMMERSING YOURSELF IN THIS WONDERFUL MIEN WEDDING RECEPTION. ENJOY THE MEMORIES, AND LAENGZ ZINGH CAMV FOR SHARING IN THE JOY!